Its been a long time

What up bitchs and Donkeynites

I know its been a long time since I did anything here but I got shit to do.

I’ve notice that my anti-Juggalo works have been getting attention by like minded civilized people and the few Juggalos that could read. These reading Juggalos need to be exterminated first if Obama stops being a lazy welfare president. But no he likes to waste time crying about dead kids in Florida and Mississippi (or Missouri same shit hole right).

Any how I got too much shit to do and Ive been getting way too much ass to come here so I will post some pics of hot chicks just to make up for it.

ava d




Also we need to make a second mothers day to honor the MILF’s


The Anatomy of a Juggalo

Taking out Juggalo's with my kickass SUV

Taking out Juggalo’s with my kickass SUV

I’ve notice that the most popular work of genius has been my little plan on how to eradicate the Juggalo’s. I got supporter and haters but what stood out was this guy who lives in a world without Juggalo’s. This dude Steve from South Africa has never heared or seen a Juggalo, hence I envy him for living in a world without these ravages animals. So I decided to write this post to educate Steve and others like him about the Juggalo to give an understanding on why they are a vermin in society.

Intelligence: The Juggalo has none. The average 21 – 35 year old Juggalo has the intellectual sustainability of a 14 year old who just hit puberty. This is because your average Juggalo never graduated high school and was to stupid to get a GED. Basically the Juggalo lives his day in beyond full retard in perceptual.

Combat: The Juggalo loves to fight but they suck at combat. 1 average person with 0 combat experience can take down a Juggalo who has had his ass handed to him multiple times. 5 people vs. 5 Juggalo will result in victory. However if you ever are alone going aginst 5 Juggalo’s than just shoot all 5 animals with your piece, because the Juggalo has none. Because no gun shop would ever sell a gun to a Juggalo. Don’t be a pansy, get a gun and wipe out the Juggalo.


Career: The Juggalo has no skill hence you will find them working as a burger flipper, pizza boy, or cleaning poop. Basically any low skill and pay job will take a Juggalo who is in need of funds for their dirt weed.

Culture: Juggalo culture is even below trash culture. Their music is shit and their festivals are a gathering of rabid animals who shower themselves with Faygo and wear dumbass makeup. On the social scale the Juggalo would be beyond the bottom.

Terrorist Threat:  The US government declared Jugglo’s to be a looses affiliated gang (because we all know they are too fucking stupid to organize anything beyond a Faygo shower). This is not enough as they need to be declared a terrorist group so they could be rounded up and sent to Gitmo so they may become Cuba’s problem.

Hopeful this post gave you the information needed to understand everything about Juggalos. For good people who live countries without a Juggalo presence hopefully you can keep these vermin’s from coming to your community.

Some One In Palestinian Territory Checked Out My Page (Why?)

A few days ago I was checking how awesome I was and it came to my attention that someone in the Palestinian Territory had checked out my page. To those retards unaware, Palestinian Territory is Israels version of the ghetto -think Compton + Detroit populated with Raider fans but no black people = Palestinian Territory.

What shocked me (besides internet being available in the Palestinian Territory) was they check my page out and not some hot chicks. I mean I have to assume internet is limited and even though I should be honored; porno would have been a better influence on this person.

If this poor donkeynite could go back on the web this is what I want him to check out:






You could also find Star Wars sluts online too:



We also got hot MILFs:





You could even find athletic chicks who like to get sexy:




The point is never waste internet time on non porn when your service is limited. I also advice checking up hot chicks since the Palestinian Territory is a shithole ruled by fags and the women their are fat or gimped out.

But thank you lone donkeynite for risking your internet time to check out The Donkey Report.

Is Rick Scott a Pedophile?

Rick Scott for Florida, Rick Scott for GovernorHello my fellow Donkeynites, its been a long time since I published shit but that is because I’ve been to busy making money and getting drunk off my donkey ass while banging chicks.

But you know who probably prefers banging children? Florida governor Rick Scott.

I know what most of you are thinking “I can’t find news of Rick Scott being a pedophilia you just assume that because he lives in Florida“.

First of all, if you live in Florida than you have a good chance of being a sex offender. It has the 5th largest sex offender population in the country, hence its obviously very friendly towards pedophiles.

Look fellow Donkeynites, after Jerry Sandusky and Jimmy Savile we all must be vigilant of pedophilia. Granted that unlike our friends in the UK, America caught and punished Sandusky. I just don’t want some elected official abusing his power to go after children.

You have to admire how American law enforcement is better at catching pedophiles than Britain. We got Chris Hansen who has made a show all about catching pedophiles meanwhile Jimmy Savile groped a hot innocent chick on live TV.

That is why I’m doing my part in hunting down pedophiles before they can do more harm!

So how do I know that Rick Scott is a pedophile?

First and most obvious he lives in Florida and he is not Jewish or retired or Cuban or a MILF. To make matters worse, he is the governor (yeah Florida elected a pedophile to run their state).

Second, look at every picture of him?


























Notice anything? He has the smile of a pedophile. Think about it, when was the last time some one who loves to bang chicks smiled like that. The only people who smile like that are pedophiles, hence he must be a pedophile.

Finally one has to look at his tenure in office. He has made cuts to education, public safety and health care. Guess who benefits from these cuts? Answer: Pedophiles! With a lack of school and law enforcement, pedophiles are free to go after all the vulnerable children with ease. As Governor he has just made Florida into a pedophile mecca.

Now that it has been established that Rick Scott is a pedophile its up to the State of Florida to act against the tyranny of this pedophile. I encourage my fellow Donkeynites to unite the Jews, Retires, Rich, Drug Lords, MILFs, and Cubans to liberate their state from the pedophile

Trolls Make Websites More Awsome

It has come to my attention that my profile on the Huffington Post has now been deleted due to some bullshit (I have sent an angry email wanting answers but the fatties in their help department have not replied). I however sense it has to do with my year of trolling on the Huffington Post and making their shit look awesome.

Lets face it; some of these websites are sooooooooooo boring that use trolls are attracting 80% of readers or responsible for 90% of all discussions. What do we get in return for our service? We get our accounts deleted because in the words of some sensitive fat fuck “we are being offensive and not contributing to the discussion“.

If you think about it, below is an example of almost every political discussion on the net without trolls:

* LiberalNerd001: I think we need to raise taxes on the rich because all these tax cuts have robbed the public sector of much needed funds that support service like health care and education

* ConservativeNerd001: I disagree with LiberalNerd001; we need to cut taxes to encourage business to invest which will allow the development of job growth.

Next is every political discussion with trolls:

* LiberalNerd001: I think we need to raise taxes on the rich because all these tax cuts have robbed the public sector of much needed funds that support service like health care and education

* ConservativeNerd001: I disagree with LiberalNerd001; we need to cut taxes to encourage business to invest which will allow the development of job growth.

* AwesomeTroll: First of; LiberalNers001 and ConservativeNerd001, you guys are fags go cry over a black dick. Next to our topic, government should stop wasting money on the welfare people and business need to stop hiring fatties, retards and lazy illegals – suck it!

* LiberalNerd001: @ AwesomeTroll WTF

* RandomDude001: AwesomeTroll is right, blame the fatties

* LiberalNerd002: AwsomeTroll you are not awesome, you are miss informed and make no logical sense

* ConservativeNerd001: About time some one spoke the truth with out all the PC minority loving shit

* LiberalNerd003: @ AwesomeTroll WTF

* RandomDude002: LOL

*  PolitcalChick: AwesomeTroll you are ignorant and very sexist

* AwesomeTroll: @ PolitcalChick TITS or GTFO

Now isn’t the conversation with the troll more fun than without. Its a sad fact of life but trolls make discussion on the internet more fun. Why learn and be bored when you can discuss any aspect of a topic all thanks to the remarks of a troll.

Also trolls right the best reviews on Yelp, like:

ArtSnoob001: I find this restaurant to lack any real amusement with its poor service while the food lacks any real flavor. Overall 1/2 out of 5

AwesomeTroll: The food taste like shit (because the lazy illegals in the back can’t cook for shit) and the staff are all teen moms who guilt you into tipping. Bitch should have used a condom. 0 out of 5.

Hence its time for sites like the Huffington Post, Wikipedia and Yelp to end their attacks on trolls and to embrace us.

I Banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz

During the DNC; I stopped by for some fun and trolling (plus with the hopes of seeing Sandra Fluke naked). But during this moment of shenaniganz, I bumped into Debbie Wasserman Schultz at some near by bar and let me tell you that she was fucking bored with all those hippes and freeloaders. After telling her who I am (Palo Alto millionaire, famous internet troll and a dude with an amazing junk) she wanted me to take her back to my hotel.

Oh yeah I banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz and it was fucking balls deep awesome (both literally and metaphorically).

Don’t bother dreaming about Stifler’s mom; Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the best M.I.L.F. you could ever fuck and she is like a unicorn, hard to fine and catch. Hence I just fucked a unicorn – alright 🙂

Those duck lips of hers are just perfect for a blow job and she has given me one of the best blow jobs I’ve ever have. Its beyond a simple deep thought as its more like a suck my dick dry type blow job which is very rare. I mean she literally sucked my dick so hard she drained by junk dry but it felt so good that I was able to go for a round 2, 3. 4, and 5. Those botax shot up lips of hers have to be the secret for this great blow job. Getting your dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz has to be the best feeling in the world. Nothing will top getting dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz on a list of accomplishments.  I’ll be at a part some nerd says “I cured cancer” and I’ll be “so what, I got my dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz“.

That part was very important since I have never talked about a blowjob that much before, hence you know Debbie Wasserman Schultz gives an amazing blowjob. Trust me on this people and ladies you can learn a lot from her. However the blow job is only a tip of the iceberg during my one night.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a best, she will fuck the living day lights out of you and I was able to last 5 rounds with her.First of, she loves it anul so much (since its not cheating if you do it anul). But damn she she works with you on the motion as you fucking the living shit out of that fine ass of hers. MMMMMMMMMMMM did that feel so good just giving it to her and not just on the bed but in the tube and on the floor and anything else just to make that shit feel more awesome than it was already.

Also she is real screamer but that should have been very obvious but nothing like you have heard before. Wow the more I fucked her the more screaming she did it was like she a virgin with 20 years experiences.  I know my junk is big and amazing but itwas more than impressive during the night. I swear Debbie Wasserman Schultz was the babe that was designed for my junk.

With all said and done we enjoyed one last shot as she part ways back to the DNC and in the end this night with Debbie Wasserman Schultz was one for the ages.

Now what ever you did with your life; it won’t mean shit compared to me banging Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Go ahead cure cancer or land a rover on mars because you did not bang Debbie Wasserman Schultz. In fact chances are your limp dick would have bored her.

I’m still rich and have a nice junk; but I also banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz. So suck it haters.

Like My Facebook Page

Ok my fellow Donkeynites

I have set up a fan page on Facebook and I need all you fans and haters like it.
That way you can get all the Donkey Punch shit talk that will brighten your sad and miserable day.
Like all my trolling on Huffington Post and blog updates from here.

Because I’m awesome so like it!

Sandra Fluke needs to show Tits or GTFO

Sandra Fluke – I would totally bang her for $1 million dollars.

Lets get the obvious out of the way; Sandra Fluke is fucking hot. So hot that she doesn’t need make up or dress like a slut to make herself look good. By natural she is a 10 with that sexy office outfit and anal beads.

When I say sexy office chick I mean the quirky friendly kind not the uptight bitch who needs a good fucking while always having that grin that says “I sucked a lot of dick to get here so RESPECT ME“.

My point is I respect hotness without the bitchness.

However Sandra Fluke has gone too long with out showing us any sexy photos and I’m tired beating off to that C-SPAN clip of hers. Hence at the DNC; Sandra Fluke needs to show some Tits or she needs to get the fuck out. I and millions of hard working Americans are tired of using our imagination, its time Sandra Fluke showed us some tits.

Bill Clinton is going to be their and he always appreciates a nice body with some fine tits and ass. Why should Bill Clinton be the only one to see Sandra Fluke hot ass naked, he can bang any chick he wants with his Presidential authority (I bet you Clinton will use that power to bang Sandra Fluke at the DNC).  Why would Clinton do that; because he is fucking awsome. He was the last president who was not a church fucking sissy like Bush and Obama. Also if Clinton dose bangs Sandra Fluke than that would be totally awesome.

But us Americans just wanna see her naked in a photo or a 5min sex tape were she just rubes her tits and vag. I don’t see the problem; all she has to do is get in front of a camera and make a 5min video of her rubbing her tits and vag while super naked. Their doesn’t need to be a black dude banging her (but that would be awesome).

She needs to stop being a prude and be more sexy. She is a national star; slutty nobody’s put their pics online for free and they get tons of respect. Check out the random chick on top. I don’t know who she is but I will bang the living shit out of her because she is hot and slutty. Meanwhile Sandra Fluke is famous hence she needs to she some tits or GTFO.

The point is that its time for Sandra Fluke to stop being so shy and show us some tits or GTFO.

But I could always use photo shop.

Sexy Sandra Fluke

I’m a genius

Donkey Punch has made 100 comments on the Huffington Post

Today I would like to commemorate my accomplishment of having made my 100th post on The Huffington Post. After half a years worth of trolling, I have survived to make 100 comments – This is awesome.

To honor this event here are some of the best shit I’v posted on the Huffington Post:

Bobby Jindal School Voucher System Blasted As ‘Destruction Of Education’ By Religious Group
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:53:36 in Politics
“hey hey hey, I do not what my tax money wasted on education that is satisfactory for bible thumping imbreeds. This is America, you want a union of church and state than move to Iran or Utah”

Mitt Romney Started Bain Capital With Money From Families Tied To Death Squads
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:47:03 in Politics
“So what? Every country has problems with welfare leachs and and gangs. El Salvador decided to use a more effective methods. Hey death squads are better at putting down drug fueled gangs than hippies blaming rich people.”

Naomi Schaefer Riley, Chronicle Of Higher Education Blogger, Fired For Calling Black Studies ‘Claptrap’
Commented May 29, 2012 at 04:32:45 in Black Voices
“Ok genius explain to all of us how MLK won WWII…! That is right he did nothing to stop the Nazi’s from invading America. History is white washed because white people won WWII, invented cars and airplanes, ended slavery, build ships and made nukes. All black people did was cry for welfare.”

Jan Brewer Defends Immigration Crackdown, Says Mexico ‘Controlled By Drug Cartels’
Commented Feb 26, 2012 at 16:28:43 in Politics
“Finally some one calls out the Mexican government for what it really is, they finance and protect all the drug cartel and people crossing the border and expect us to clean up their mess.I say we deploy some drones and take out cartel leaders just to show they are not that tuff compared to the the US military.”

Viswanathan Anand Retains World Chess Title
Commented May 31, 2012 at 03:53:51 in Sports
“Chess is not a sport, this belongs in the games or education or nerd section. I hate it when news outlets put chess as a sport, its demeaning to real sports like football, baseball or basketball. Stop trying to make non-athletic fat nerds feel good about themselves.”

Sunday Shows Overwhelmingly White And Male: Study
Commented Feb 12, 2012 at 17:00:04 in Media
“Lack of diversity on Sunday talk shows – Wow that would be shocking if anyone really cares about diversity. The issue of diversity is only important to radical college professors, politicians with white guilt and the diversity lobby. Other than that nobody gives a crap about diversity as its a very trivial issue.”