I Banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz

During the DNC; I stopped by for some fun and trolling (plus with the hopes of seeing Sandra Fluke naked). But during this moment of shenaniganz, I bumped into Debbie Wasserman Schultz at some near by bar and let me tell you that she was fucking bored with all those hippes and freeloaders. After telling her who I am (Palo Alto millionaire, famous internet troll and a dude with an amazing junk) she wanted me to take her back to my hotel.

Oh yeah I banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz and it was fucking balls deep awesome (both literally and metaphorically).

Don’t bother dreaming about Stifler’s mom; Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the best M.I.L.F. you could ever fuck and she is like a unicorn, hard to fine and catch. Hence I just fucked a unicorn – alright 🙂

Those duck lips of hers are just perfect for a blow job and she has given me one of the best blow jobs I’ve ever have. Its beyond a simple deep thought as its more like a suck my dick dry type blow job which is very rare. I mean she literally sucked my dick so hard she drained by junk dry but it felt so good that I was able to go for a round 2, 3. 4, and 5. Those botax shot up lips of hers have to be the secret for this great blow job. Getting your dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz has to be the best feeling in the world. Nothing will top getting dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz on a list of accomplishments.  I’ll be at a part some nerd says “I cured cancer” and I’ll be “so what, I got my dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz“.

That part was very important since I have never talked about a blowjob that much before, hence you know Debbie Wasserman Schultz gives an amazing blowjob. Trust me on this people and ladies you can learn a lot from her. However the blow job is only a tip of the iceberg during my one night.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a best, she will fuck the living day lights out of you and I was able to last 5 rounds with her.First of, she loves it anul so much (since its not cheating if you do it anul). But damn she she works with you on the motion as you fucking the living shit out of that fine ass of hers. MMMMMMMMMMMM did that feel so good just giving it to her and not just on the bed but in the tube and on the floor and anything else just to make that shit feel more awesome than it was already.

Also she is real screamer but that should have been very obvious but nothing like you have heard before. Wow the more I fucked her the more screaming she did it was like she a virgin with 20 years experiences.  I know my junk is big and amazing but itwas more than impressive during the night. I swear Debbie Wasserman Schultz was the babe that was designed for my junk.

With all said and done we enjoyed one last shot as she part ways back to the DNC and in the end this night with Debbie Wasserman Schultz was one for the ages.

Now what ever you did with your life; it won’t mean shit compared to me banging Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Go ahead cure cancer or land a rover on mars because you did not bang Debbie Wasserman Schultz. In fact chances are your limp dick would have bored her.

I’m still rich and have a nice junk; but I also banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz. So suck it haters.

Sandra Fluke needs to show Tits or GTFO

Sandra Fluke – I would totally bang her for $1 million dollars.

Lets get the obvious out of the way; Sandra Fluke is fucking hot. So hot that she doesn’t need make up or dress like a slut to make herself look good. By natural she is a 10 with that sexy office outfit and anal beads.

When I say sexy office chick I mean the quirky friendly kind not the uptight bitch who needs a good fucking while always having that grin that says “I sucked a lot of dick to get here so RESPECT ME“.

My point is I respect hotness without the bitchness.

However Sandra Fluke has gone too long with out showing us any sexy photos and I’m tired beating off to that C-SPAN clip of hers. Hence at the DNC; Sandra Fluke needs to show some Tits or she needs to get the fuck out. I and millions of hard working Americans are tired of using our imagination, its time Sandra Fluke showed us some tits.

Bill Clinton is going to be their and he always appreciates a nice body with some fine tits and ass. Why should Bill Clinton be the only one to see Sandra Fluke hot ass naked, he can bang any chick he wants with his Presidential authority (I bet you Clinton will use that power to bang Sandra Fluke at the DNC).  Why would Clinton do that; because he is fucking awsome. He was the last president who was not a church fucking sissy like Bush and Obama. Also if Clinton dose bangs Sandra Fluke than that would be totally awesome.

But us Americans just wanna see her naked in a photo or a 5min sex tape were she just rubes her tits and vag. I don’t see the problem; all she has to do is get in front of a camera and make a 5min video of her rubbing her tits and vag while super naked. Their doesn’t need to be a black dude banging her (but that would be awesome).

She needs to stop being a prude and be more sexy. She is a national star; slutty nobody’s put their pics online for free and they get tons of respect. Check out the random chick on top. I don’t know who she is but I will bang the living shit out of her because she is hot and slutty. Meanwhile Sandra Fluke is famous hence she needs to she some tits or GTFO.

The point is that its time for Sandra Fluke to stop being so shy and show us some tits or GTFO.

But I could always use photo shop.

I’m a genius

Donkey Punch has made 100 comments on the Huffington Post

Today I would like to commemorate my accomplishment of having made my 100th post on The Huffington Post. After half a years worth of trolling, I have survived to make 100 comments – This is awesome.

To honor this event here are some of the best shit I’v posted on the Huffington Post:

Bobby Jindal School Voucher System Blasted As ‘Destruction Of Education’ By Religious Group
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:53:36 in Politics
“hey hey hey, I do not what my tax money wasted on education that is satisfactory for bible thumping imbreeds. This is America, you want a union of church and state than move to Iran or Utah”

Mitt Romney Started Bain Capital With Money From Families Tied To Death Squads
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:47:03 in Politics
“So what? Every country has problems with welfare leachs and and gangs. El Salvador decided to use a more effective methods. Hey death squads are better at putting down drug fueled gangs than hippies blaming rich people.”

Naomi Schaefer Riley, Chronicle Of Higher Education Blogger, Fired For Calling Black Studies ‘Claptrap’
Commented May 29, 2012 at 04:32:45 in Black Voices
“Ok genius explain to all of us how MLK won WWII…! That is right he did nothing to stop the Nazi’s from invading America. History is white washed because white people won WWII, invented cars and airplanes, ended slavery, build ships and made nukes. All black people did was cry for welfare.”

Jan Brewer Defends Immigration Crackdown, Says Mexico ‘Controlled By Drug Cartels’
Commented Feb 26, 2012 at 16:28:43 in Politics
“Finally some one calls out the Mexican government for what it really is, they finance and protect all the drug cartel and people crossing the border and expect us to clean up their mess.I say we deploy some drones and take out cartel leaders just to show they are not that tuff compared to the the US military.”

Viswanathan Anand Retains World Chess Title
Commented May 31, 2012 at 03:53:51 in Sports
“Chess is not a sport, this belongs in the games or education or nerd section. I hate it when news outlets put chess as a sport, its demeaning to real sports like football, baseball or basketball. Stop trying to make non-athletic fat nerds feel good about themselves.”

Sunday Shows Overwhelmingly White And Male: Study
Commented Feb 12, 2012 at 17:00:04 in Media
“Lack of diversity on Sunday talk shows – Wow that would be shocking if anyone really cares about diversity. The issue of diversity is only important to radical college professors, politicians with white guilt and the diversity lobby. Other than that nobody gives a crap about diversity as its a very trivial issue.”

 

 

Joe Arpaio, Longtime Maricopa County Sheriff, Faces 2 Challengers Who See Opening To Take Him Down

Good luck Sheriff Joe, your my hero as I wish my state had someone as badass as you
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Donkey Report is a Friend of Israel

With so much Israel related shit going on in the news that I feel its my turn to say my feelings and they are that I and The Donkey Report support Israel. With AIPAC and Israeli President Shimon Peres coming to my town of Palo Alto (suck it church fuckers and your dirt towns) to praise Facebook and its awesomeness.

So why do I support Israel? To support Israel is a lot like supporting America since their both the same. You see Israel is like America only smaller and surrounded by a ton Mexico’s that are lazy and like to blame their problem on the more successful country. But rather than sending truck loads of slackers wanting a hand out, they send terrorists to cause trouble. Sadly Israel has no Canada unless you wanna count Jordan.

One would think that 50 years of having your ass handed to you would teach the Palestinians and Arabs a lesson regarding messing with Israel. But noooooooooooo they just breed more terrorists and are surprised when the USA has to take them down a notch. You see Israel has been fighting terrorists long before America thought it was cool, so they the experts.

This whole Mid-East thing could easily be solved if Israel just annex the West Bank and Gaza while giving those free loaders called Palestinians the ultimatum of either get out or stop being either ghetto or terrorist. Because obviously blowing up school buses dose don’t give you a welfare check.

Palestine people should be thankful that Israel liberated them from tyranny and now if only they just try and modernize as oppose to living like savages than maybe they could build an economy which would produce real jobs as oppose to terrorizing Israelis for welfare. Holding on to these savage traditions will not solve the Palestinian’s problem, only adopting Western values will free them from these ghettos they have made.

Israel is a progressive society that is a shiny example of Western achievement as oppose to Palestinian achievements in terrorism and being savages. Also Israeli women are hot vs all the rag wearing fatties in Gaza (its a land of Alejandrina Cabrera). Even their army chicks are hot, check it out;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alejandrina Cabrera tried again (and failed)

Alejandrina Cabrera tried again to get her fat ass on the ballot for city council in some shit-hole town in Arizona that is located next to the border.

But like every other court; the Arizona Supreme Court ruled since her dumb-ass can’t speak English, her fat ass can’t be on the ballot.

First I have to ask why hasn’t Sheriff Joe Arpaio knocked down the door and dragged her illegal fat-ass across the border were it belongs. In fact if Sheriff Joe Arpaio did his job right, their would be no language divide in San Lusis. Problem is you need a tank to drag her ass plus her fat ass could cause a horrible famine in Mexico for years to come.

Alejandrina Cabrera would not have this problem she actually learned the damn language. But no she is so stupid that she thought it was unnecessary just like how she thought it would be a good idea to be a mother at age 14. Yeah good job Alejandrina Cabrera, your one real rocket scientist.

Plus who would want to vote for her? She is so hideous that the amount of whiskey needed to make her attractive would even kill Charlie Sheen. This is why parents need to abort their stupid kids before shit like this happens.

Here are some of anti-Alejandrina Cabrera chants that should be used by her opponents:
– 73% of all food stamps in San Luis is used to feed Alejandrina Cabrera fat-ass
– Alejandrina Cabrera is so ugly, the amount of alcohol required to make her attractive would even kill Charlie Sheen
– Alejandrina Cabrera is so fat, she can’t tell if she is squeezing out pop or another baby
– Alejandrina Cabrera is so dumb, she dropped out of kindergarten
– Alejandrina Cabrera is ugly that her picture is declared a WMD (because its boner poison)

So to end another rant about Alejandrina Cabrera, I have collected photos of the hottest female politicians just to show that we never have to settle for ugly ones. While divers they all have something in common. They went to college (unlike Alejandrina Cabrera  GED), they know their native language (unlike Alejandrina Cabrera), and they did not get knocked up at age 14 (unlike Alejandrina Cabrera).

Eva Kaili - A member of the Greek Parliament

Yulia Tymoshenko - Former Prime Minister of Ukraine

Alina Kabaeva - Member of the Russian Duma

Vera Lischka - Member of Austrian Parliament

Pamela Geller - Conservative poltical activist and hot MILF

Cut Welfare Not Cops

In this hard economic times it makes sense to make a few cut backs, yet its better to cut shit that is unnecessary rather than stuff that are important. But no; local governments have been cutting fire and law enforcement services non-stop at the expense of us hard working honest people.

But …… (this is very important to note) they have refused to cut or make any useful reforms to welfare.

So how is a service that is beneficial to the lazy, junkies, criminals, and useless members of society more important than a service that protects an entire community? Also I have the right to call welfare recipients “junkies” since all you liberals are opposed to drug testing them before they get their check.

Cops do good for a society, they keep our asses safe while locking up or shooting all the bad guys. Plus they have all that kick ass gear that keep us safe from junkies, thugs, and terrorists. Plus 99% of all cops are total bad asses like:
– John McClane
– Max Payne
– SWAT
– Axel Foley
– RoboCop
– Jack Bauer
– Starsky & Hutch

Now name one kick-ass welfare recipient? You can’t cause none exists. Most of them are bony or toothless junkies whiling to voluntarily have sex with anything for money. Even the Chick Cops are super hot and the uniform with the tactical gear and gun makes them X10 hotter and awesome (epically Russia); again better than some ugly welfare queen. Also most welfare queens are such boner poison that a picture of them should be legally declared a WMD for what it can do to your boner.

Without cops; am I expected to buy why own gun and go Charles Bronson on any thug who tries to harm me? Actually that is a real kickass idea, buy myself a Colt M1911 and blast any thug who fucks with me in the pecker. Hence I robbed them of their manhood – LOL. It will be so bad ass that I will have the safest neighborhood thanks to my Charles Bronson skills.

However some liberal hippie will say that those junkies have a right to break into my house and take my shit because of some bullshit regarding race & unequal distribution of wealth. To that I say fuck it – my going Charles Bronson on some thug is a more rational solution than the hippie idea of being nice to criminals and cutting law enforcement.

However; I’m to lazy to wanna fill out all those socialist paperwork to get a gun so I need cops to do the all the needed Charles Bronson shit for me. Besides why is it so difficult to get a gun but any junkie can go on welfare? If a gun has to be hard to get, than so should welfare.

At least high gun ownership would improve the safety of a community as oppose to high welfare. So their is actually a good solution – abolish welfare. If the state abolishes welfare than crime will drop since all the criminals will starve and die off. My idea has killed an ass load of birds with one stone. But we still need cops for other shit.

Point is; cut or abolish welfare, not law enforcement!

Elections Suck

Election season sucks horse balls – (Yeah I said it)!

It is the most annoying thing of the year and no matter what I do I can never get away form it. Every day its 5 ugly nobody and have-beens from the ass end of America nagging about how they make a better president than Obama. And all the nagging is the same.

“Wah wah wah we have to beat Obama, wah wah wah socalism, wah wah wah some church bullshit”

But what really annoys me is 99% of the time they are only appealing to all the church fuckers. I’m sorry but last I check, the world dose not revolve around inbreed church fuckers who nothing better to do than too judge others and wage their finger.

Well guess what church fuckers – I have a 15inch donkey dick, I smoke cigars, I have an ass load of cash, and the chicks I bang are not my relatives. So maybe if all you evangelical inbreeds would loss the pasty skin and do something more productive on your knees than maybe god will give you a better life (like mine).

Yet very politician I see on TV is non stop giving a speech trying to appease to all the church fuckers. Why is it that these elections have to focus on church fuckers? I thought after Citizens United we can just buy elections and last I check most these evangelical chuggers are suppose to be dirt poor.

But noooo every candidate has to appease them by having their picture taken at their church or at their dirt farm. Here they give that dumb speech that is a lot like: “I love church fuckers and if you vote for me I promise to go to church and the only women I will bang is my wife.”

This brings up another point; why are all these “primaries” focused either in the ass end of America or states with a shit tone of dirt farmers. Who gives a shit about Iowa; its a useless state stuffed with trailer parks, dirt farmers, and more church fuckers.

What about me living here in Palo Alto, CA. My area gave the world Google, iPhones, Facebook , Internet, and other cool shit. Those dirt farmers in Iowa havn’t given the world shit. That state is more useless than someone on Welfare. If anything we should just turn Iowa into one big landfill so that way it could start pulling its weight.

On a side note I did think that Rick Perry was kick ass and we need more people who kick ass like him. Every one else are a bunch of sissies who probably can’t fire a gun or drink a beer like a champion. I hope Rick Perry runs for President next time.

Hell anything from Texas is kick ass. It would be so much better if all these primaries and caucus were set in California and Texas rather than some useless state.

But for now – fuck the elections, put on some damn war!

Alejandrina Cabrera Candidacy Has Been Stopped!

Alejandrina Cabrera was a candidate running for city council in some shit-hole town in Arizona that is located next to the border. This can not happen because of her lack of qualifications and the possible harm she will bring to the great state of Arizona.

Guess what? The law agreed and now her fat ass has been removed from the ballot.

For one thing (and the main reason) is she could not speak English properly. Wow! Is she even a legal citizen in this country? I guess Sheriff Joe Arpaio has some work to do. I wish my hero, Sheriff Arpaio, the best of luck in his investigation.

If so how do you go your whole life not speaking English? And you wonder why the only job you could get is picking fruit (I bet she got fired from that job because she kept eating them).

But besides her poor language skills just look at her. The last thing we need is any more fatties in government. We are trying to cut government spending not waste spending feeding this tubby. What she thinks she is qualified to be an elected official because she worked some shit job at the DMV?

In fact to save money, government should just lay off all the fatties.

Also look at how ugly she looks. Come on we need to stop encouraging ugly people to run for office. We need more studs like Paul Ryan rather than pasty old men and fat chicks like Alejandrina Cabrera. We need a new limpness list in which the sexyness of a person needs to be a qualifying factor before they run for political office.

Sorry for the pic of the ugly chick (its boner poison), so here are some photos of sexy politicians. For you nerds the women featured are Carla Bruni Sarkozy (First Lady of France), Alessedera Mussolini (Italian politician and Benito Mussolini’s granddaughter), Sarah Palin (former Governor of Alaska), and Alina Kabaeva (member of the Russian Parliament).