Its been a long time

What up bitchs and Donkeynites

I know its been a long time since I did anything here but I got shit to do.

I’ve notice that my anti-Juggalo works have been getting attention by like minded civilized people and the few Juggalos that could read. These reading Juggalos need to be exterminated first if Obama stops being a lazy welfare president. But no he likes to waste time crying about dead kids in Florida and Mississippi (or Missouri same shit hole right).

Any how I got too much shit to do and Ive been getting way too much ass to come here so I will post some pics of hot chicks just to make up for it.

Also we need to make a second mothers day to honor the MILF’s

The Anatomy of a Juggalo

Taking out Juggalo’s with my kickass SUV

I’ve notice that the most popular work of genius has been my little plan on how to eradicate the Juggalo’s. I got supporter and haters but what stood out was this guy who lives in a world without Juggalo’s. This dude Steve from South Africa has never heared or seen a Juggalo, hence I envy him for living in a world without these ravages animals. So I decided to write this post to educate Steve and others like him about the Juggalo to give an understanding on why they are a vermin in society.

Intelligence: The Juggalo has none. The average 21 – 35 year old Juggalo has the intellectual sustainability of a 14 year old who just hit puberty. This is because your average Juggalo never graduated high school and was to stupid to get a GED. Basically the Juggalo lives his day in beyond full retard in perceptual.

Combat: The Juggalo loves to fight but they suck at combat. 1 average person with 0 combat experience can take down a Juggalo who has had his ass handed to him multiple times. 5 people vs. 5 Juggalo will result in victory. However if you ever are alone going aginst 5 Juggalo’s than just shoot all 5 animals with your piece, because the Juggalo has none. Because no gun shop would ever sell a gun to a Juggalo. Don’t be a pansy, get a gun and wipe out the Juggalo.

Career: The Juggalo has no skill hence you will find them working as a burger flipper, pizza boy, or cleaning poop. Basically any low skill and pay job will take a Juggalo who is in need of funds for their dirt weed.

Culture: Juggalo culture is even below trash culture. Their music is shit and their festivals are a gathering of rabid animals who shower themselves with Faygo and wear dumbass makeup. On the social scale the Juggalo would be beyond the bottom.

Terrorist Threat:  The US government declared Jugglo’s to be a looses affiliated gang (because we all know they are too fucking stupid to organize anything beyond a Faygo shower). This is not enough as they need to be declared a terrorist group so they could be rounded up and sent to Gitmo so they may become Cuba’s problem.

Hopeful this post gave you the information needed to understand everything about Juggalos. For good people who live countries without a Juggalo presence hopefully you can keep these vermin’s from coming to your community.

Some One In Palestinian Territory Checked Out My Page (Why?)

A few days ago I was checking how awesome I was and it came to my attention that someone in the Palestinian Territory had checked out my page. To those retards unaware, Palestinian Territory is Israels version of the ghetto -think Compton + Detroit populated with Raider fans but no black people = Palestinian Territory.

What shocked me (besides internet being available in the Palestinian Territory) was they check my page out and not some hot chicks. I mean I have to assume internet is limited and even though I should be honored; porno would have been a better influence on this person.

If this poor donkeynite could go back on the web this is what I want him to check out:

You could also find Star Wars sluts online too:

We also got hot MILFs:

You could even find athletic chicks who like to get sexy:

The point is never waste internet time on non porn when your service is limited. I also advice checking up hot chicks since the Palestinian Territory is a shithole ruled by fags and the women their are fat or gimped out.

But thank you lone donkeynite for risking your internet time to check out The Donkey Report.

I Banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz

During the DNC; I stopped by for some fun and trolling (plus with the hopes of seeing Sandra Fluke naked). But during this moment of shenaniganz, I bumped into Debbie Wasserman Schultz at some near by bar and let me tell you that she was fucking bored with all those hippes and freeloaders. After telling her who I am (Palo Alto millionaire, famous internet troll and a dude with an amazing junk) she wanted me to take her back to my hotel.

Oh yeah I banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz and it was fucking balls deep awesome (both literally and metaphorically).

Don’t bother dreaming about Stifler’s mom; Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the best M.I.L.F. you could ever fuck and she is like a unicorn, hard to fine and catch. Hence I just fucked a unicorn – alright 🙂

Those duck lips of hers are just perfect for a blow job and she has given me one of the best blow jobs I’ve ever have. Its beyond a simple deep thought as its more like a suck my dick dry type blow job which is very rare. I mean she literally sucked my dick so hard she drained by junk dry but it felt so good that I was able to go for a round 2, 3. 4, and 5. Those botax shot up lips of hers have to be the secret for this great blow job. Getting your dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz has to be the best feeling in the world. Nothing will top getting dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz on a list of accomplishments.  I’ll be at a part some nerd says “I cured cancer” and I’ll be “so what, I got my dick sucked by Debbie Wasserman Schultz“.

That part was very important since I have never talked about a blowjob that much before, hence you know Debbie Wasserman Schultz gives an amazing blowjob. Trust me on this people and ladies you can learn a lot from her. However the blow job is only a tip of the iceberg during my one night.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a best, she will fuck the living day lights out of you and I was able to last 5 rounds with her.First of, she loves it anul so much (since its not cheating if you do it anul). But damn she she works with you on the motion as you fucking the living shit out of that fine ass of hers. MMMMMMMMMMMM did that feel so good just giving it to her and not just on the bed but in the tube and on the floor and anything else just to make that shit feel more awesome than it was already.

Also she is real screamer but that should have been very obvious but nothing like you have heard before. Wow the more I fucked her the more screaming she did it was like she a virgin with 20 years experiences.  I know my junk is big and amazing but itwas more than impressive during the night. I swear Debbie Wasserman Schultz was the babe that was designed for my junk.

With all said and done we enjoyed one last shot as she part ways back to the DNC and in the end this night with Debbie Wasserman Schultz was one for the ages.

Now what ever you did with your life; it won’t mean shit compared to me banging Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Go ahead cure cancer or land a rover on mars because you did not bang Debbie Wasserman Schultz. In fact chances are your limp dick would have bored her.

I’m still rich and have a nice junk; but I also banged Debbie Wasserman Schultz. So suck it haters.

Like My Facebook Page

Ok my fellow Donkeynites

I have set up a fan page on Facebook and I need all you fans and haters like it.
That way you can get all the Donkey Punch shit talk that will brighten your sad and miserable day.
Like all my trolling on Huffington Post and blog updates from here.

Because I’m awesome so like it!

Sandra Fluke needs to show Tits or GTFO

Sandra Fluke – I would totally bang her for $1 million dollars.

Lets get the obvious out of the way; Sandra Fluke is fucking hot. So hot that she doesn’t need make up or dress like a slut to make herself look good. By natural she is a 10 with that sexy office outfit and anal beads.

When I say sexy office chick I mean the quirky friendly kind not the uptight bitch who needs a good fucking while always having that grin that says “I sucked a lot of dick to get here so RESPECT ME“.

My point is I respect hotness without the bitchness.

However Sandra Fluke has gone too long with out showing us any sexy photos and I’m tired beating off to that C-SPAN clip of hers. Hence at the DNC; Sandra Fluke needs to show some Tits or she needs to get the fuck out. I and millions of hard working Americans are tired of using our imagination, its time Sandra Fluke showed us some tits.

Bill Clinton is going to be their and he always appreciates a nice body with some fine tits and ass. Why should Bill Clinton be the only one to see Sandra Fluke hot ass naked, he can bang any chick he wants with his Presidential authority (I bet you Clinton will use that power to bang Sandra Fluke at the DNC).  Why would Clinton do that; because he is fucking awsome. He was the last president who was not a church fucking sissy like Bush and Obama. Also if Clinton dose bangs Sandra Fluke than that would be totally awesome.

But us Americans just wanna see her naked in a photo or a 5min sex tape were she just rubes her tits and vag. I don’t see the problem; all she has to do is get in front of a camera and make a 5min video of her rubbing her tits and vag while super naked. Their doesn’t need to be a black dude banging her (but that would be awesome).

She needs to stop being a prude and be more sexy. She is a national star; slutty nobody’s put their pics online for free and they get tons of respect. Check out the random chick on top. I don’t know who she is but I will bang the living shit out of her because she is hot and slutty. Meanwhile Sandra Fluke is famous hence she needs to she some tits or GTFO.

The point is that its time for Sandra Fluke to stop being so shy and show us some tits or GTFO.

But I could always use photo shop.

I’m a genius

Donkey Punch has made 100 comments on the Huffington Post

Today I would like to commemorate my accomplishment of having made my 100th post on The Huffington Post. After half a years worth of trolling, I have survived to make 100 comments – This is awesome.

To honor this event here are some of the best shit I’v posted on the Huffington Post:

Bobby Jindal School Voucher System Blasted As ‘Destruction Of Education’ By Religious Group
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:53:36 in Politics
“hey hey hey, I do not what my tax money wasted on education that is satisfactory for bible thumping imbreeds. This is America, you want a union of church and state than move to Iran or Utah”

Mitt Romney Started Bain Capital With Money From Families Tied To Death Squads
Commented Aug 9, 2012 at 03:47:03 in Politics
“So what? Every country has problems with welfare leachs and and gangs. El Salvador decided to use a more effective methods. Hey death squads are better at putting down drug fueled gangs than hippies blaming rich people.”

Naomi Schaefer Riley, Chronicle Of Higher Education Blogger, Fired For Calling Black Studies ‘Claptrap’
Commented May 29, 2012 at 04:32:45 in Black Voices
“Ok genius explain to all of us how MLK won WWII…! That is right he did nothing to stop the Nazi’s from invading America. History is white washed because white people won WWII, invented cars and airplanes, ended slavery, build ships and made nukes. All black people did was cry for welfare.”

Jan Brewer Defends Immigration Crackdown, Says Mexico ‘Controlled By Drug Cartels’
Commented Feb 26, 2012 at 16:28:43 in Politics
“Finally some one calls out the Mexican government for what it really is, they finance and protect all the drug cartel and people crossing the border and expect us to clean up their mess.I say we deploy some drones and take out cartel leaders just to show they are not that tuff compared to the the US military.”

Viswanathan Anand Retains World Chess Title
Commented May 31, 2012 at 03:53:51 in Sports
“Chess is not a sport, this belongs in the games or education or nerd section. I hate it when news outlets put chess as a sport, its demeaning to real sports like football, baseball or basketball. Stop trying to make non-athletic fat nerds feel good about themselves.”

Sunday Shows Overwhelmingly White And Male: Study
Commented Feb 12, 2012 at 17:00:04 in Media
“Lack of diversity on Sunday talk shows – Wow that would be shocking if anyone really cares about diversity. The issue of diversity is only important to radical college professors, politicians with white guilt and the diversity lobby. Other than that nobody gives a crap about diversity as its a very trivial issue.”

 

 

Robert Pattinson has embarrassed manhood

 If you thought Robert Pattinson could not be any more unmanly ever since he stared in the Twilight films, his handling of leaning that Kristen Stewart cheated on him officially makes him the biggest disgrace to the man-race.

Yeah that is right, the sissy from Twilight got cheated on (LOL). Its no surprise but its also embarrassing on its own, but Robert Pattinson makes it worse by running away and crying like child. Hence he has embarrassed not only himself but the sanctity of manhood.

When men get dumped they go to a bar and drink it off or cheated on than they take care of it, but Robert Pattinson ran off hiding just so he can cry all alone like girly man.  You read right; he has failed to handle the situation like a real man and has come out as a poor defenseless victim.

This is pathetic.

If any real men were put into his situation they would do the right thing.
Step 1: Beat the bitch back into her place
Step 2: Kick the other dudes ass
Step 3: Kick the bitch out of your place
Step 4: Victory beer

I know its harsh but when a women cheats on you than you have to teach her a lesson with a good old fashion spousal beating. This asserts that such action is not tolerated from a loyal girlfriend or wife.

Women think just because they have boobs they can do what ever they want – this is lie because all their good for is a good fucking, good blow job and making my damn food. Sure they like to think they are equal to men but this is a lie spread by feminazis.  Its up to every man to protect the sanctity of manhood and all that it stands for.

But noooooooooo – Robert Pattinson had to go crying like a sissy and embarrass manhood every were (are scientists sure he is not a chick).  I could see his future as playing sissy characters who cry on command (just tell him Kristen Stewart laughed at his dick).

Hence!
Robert Pattinson is officially no longer a man. He is an un-man; a step below Boy George.

Now other men have the obligation to enforce manhood and undo the damage Robert Pattinson has done before its to late (Adam Corolla warned us).

Joe Arpaio, Longtime Maricopa County Sheriff, Faces 2 Challengers Who See Opening To Take Him Down

Good luck Sheriff Joe, your my hero as I wish my state had someone as badass as you
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Donkey Report is a Friend of Israel

With so much Israel related shit going on in the news that I feel its my turn to say my feelings and they are that I and The Donkey Report support Israel. With AIPAC and Israeli President Shimon Peres coming to my town of Palo Alto (suck it church fuckers and your dirt towns) to praise Facebook and its awesomeness.

So why do I support Israel? To support Israel is a lot like supporting America since their both the same. You see Israel is like America only smaller and surrounded by a ton Mexico’s that are lazy and like to blame their problem on the more successful country. But rather than sending truck loads of slackers wanting a hand out, they send terrorists to cause trouble. Sadly Israel has no Canada unless you wanna count Jordan.

One would think that 50 years of having your ass handed to you would teach the Palestinians and Arabs a lesson regarding messing with Israel. But noooooooooooo they just breed more terrorists and are surprised when the USA has to take them down a notch. You see Israel has been fighting terrorists long before America thought it was cool, so they the experts.

This whole Mid-East thing could easily be solved if Israel just annex the West Bank and Gaza while giving those free loaders called Palestinians the ultimatum of either get out or stop being either ghetto or terrorist. Because obviously blowing up school buses dose don’t give you a welfare check.

Palestine people should be thankful that Israel liberated them from tyranny and now if only they just try and modernize as oppose to living like savages than maybe they could build an economy which would produce real jobs as oppose to terrorizing Israelis for welfare. Holding on to these savage traditions will not solve the Palestinian’s problem, only adopting Western values will free them from these ghettos they have made.

Israel is a progressive society that is a shiny example of Western achievement as oppose to Palestinian achievements in terrorism and being savages. Also Israeli women are hot vs all the rag wearing fatties in Gaza (its a land of Alejandrina Cabrera). Even their army chicks are hot, check it out;